Writer Carmen Esselink reported that her move from Amsterdam to Cape Verde to establish a nomadic lifestyle resulted in the persistence of previous relationship patterns despite her change in environment. Esselink stated that after 18 months of living abroad, she realized she continued to pursue partners who were emotionally unavailable, a habit she had hoped to leave behind in the Netherlands.
The transition began in early 2025 when Esselink left her job and apartment to seek adventure and autonomy away from traditional milestones like home ownership and marriage. Although she intended to travel between various locations, she remained at her first stop in Cape Verde, establishing a routine and a social circle.
During her time abroad, Esselink documented four dating experiences, including one three-month "situationship"—a term describing a romantic arrangement that lacks clear formal status or commitment. She noted that she frequently rationalized behaviors she previously identified as problematic, such as a lack of transparency and minimal effort from partners. She attributed these recurring choices to "self-handicapping," a psychological concept where individuals create obstacles to protect themselves from facing deeper fears of failure or rejection.
On a per-person basis, the cost of such a lifestyle shift includes not only the financial burden of international relocation—often thousands of dollars in flights, visas, and temporary housing—but also the emotional toll of social isolation or repetitive interpersonal conflict. For digital nomads and expatriates, these patterns can lead to a cycle of "geographic cure" attempts, where a person moves to a new location to solve personal problems, only to find the problems persist. This can result in decreased productivity for small-business owners operating remotely and increased demand for international mental health services that cater to mobile populations.
Furthermore, the rise of "situationships" among younger demographics signifies a shift in how legal and social benefits, such as domestic partnership rights or shared health insurance, are accessed. As more individuals opt for non-traditional, uncommitted arrangements, the standard milestones used by insurers and government agencies to define households are becoming less applicable. What happens next depends on the individual's ability to implement behavioral changes; Esselink reported she is currently attempting to apply new communication strategies and boundary-setting in a current relationship to determine if she can break her established patterns.