New Jersey-based writer Danielle Huggins recently detailed her daughter’s transition into a caregiving role during Huggins’ bouts with bipolar disorder, a phenomenon known in psychology as "parentification." Astrid, now 19, informed her mother that her therapist identified this dynamic, where a child takes on the physical or emotional responsibilities of a parent. The account highlights how parental mental illness can lead children to prioritize a parent’s well-being over their own development.
Mental health professionals define parentification as a role reversal where a child feels responsible for a parent’s physical or emotional needs. Kandace Ledergerber, a licensed professional counselor, stated that this occurs when a child’s nervous system responds to what it senses is needed in the home. For Huggins, this manifested during depressive episodes when she remained bedbound for weeks or months, and during manic episodes characterized by a short temper and a demand for cleanliness.
Alex J. Anderson-Kahl, a certified school psychologist, noted that children in these environments often focus on the parent's status rather than their own. Details from Astrid’s childhood include her walking on eggshells to avoid triggering her mother’s mania, setting up "spa sessions" to calm her mother down, and refraining from seeking support for school issues when her mother was depressed. Huggins also acknowledged that she often overshared personal details, treating her daughter more like a peer than a child.
A person affected by parentification would notice a concrete day-to-day tendency to overextend themselves or feel "lazy" when not being productive. The source reports that Astrid currently works two jobs while excelling in college, yet has previously struggled with mental health issues. The change for the parent involves a shift in communication; Huggins reported that she no longer shares specific details regarding her bipolar disorder with her daughter to avoid further developmentally inappropriate bonding.
The knock-on effects of these dynamics can lead to chronic anxiety or difficulty identifying personal needs in adulthood. However, Terra Brigando, a licensed marriage and family therapist, noted that these traits can become strengths if the childhood trauma is addressed through therapy. Moving forward, Huggins stated she will support her daughter’s continued therapy and hold herself accountable for past actions. No specific legal deadlines or upcoming court dates were reported regarding this personal account.